What is a SAHM or WM? The only difference between a Stay At Home Mom or a Working Mom is a paycheck. Neither are better or hold more value than the other. They are just different variations of the same role. I do not understand why “Mommy Wars” are a thing. We’re all Moms trying to do the best we can for our kids. Hopefully. Instead of all the arguing why can’t we learn from each other? Here are 5 tips I took from Moms who work outside of the home.
Yeah, we’re starting at the basics. With 5 kids, especially when I had 3 under 4, it was so much easier to hang out in my pj’s all day. My “dirty” little SAHM secret; there were times I would go all week in the same yoga pants. Especially when Monsters 2 and 3 (9 months apart) were under 2 and neither of them slept through the night. It was like a relay race between cribs most nights. Add in an A.D.H.D. toddler (Monster 1 was 4) and I have no idea how I survived. So okay, maybe I had an excuse for at least that first year.
For a SAHM it can be easy to let the chaos get the better of you. After all, there’s always something that needs to get done. When they’re small, that something is usually an emergency. But there’s something about getting dressed that really starts your day. Your extremely versatile yoga pants do not count unless you’re going to the gym. Take the 10 minutes to take care of you.
Spend time WITH the kids.
WHAT?!?! I spend 24 hours a day WITH my kids. But not really. Since working Mom’s spend a chunk of their day else where they automatically make the effort to allocate time focused on the kids. For a SAHM this can lag. You’re already spending all your time around your kids. How much of it is focused on them though? This is extra challenging for me because I make the effort to spend individual time with them. And they out number me. By a lot. Find some time that you can focus just on them and what they want to do.
Time blocking is new to me and has been a life saver. I’ve mentioned before that I am terribly distractable and have problems doing one thing at a time. I also love planners. Despite that, nothing was getting fully done because I was trying to get all of my day’s goals done at the same time. Time blocking is exactly what is sounds like. You block off hours of the day for specific tasks. Then you only do the things allocated for that time. You know you’ll have time for the other things because they have time blocked out too.
Work around me.
This can go along with time blocking. You know at the doctor’s office and they ask when would be a good time for you? Check your calendar and your time blocking spread sheet and name a time frame that actually works for you. My thinking was always “I’m a SAHM. When ever works for me.” But that’s not true. What time truly works better for you? The Beastie NEEDS her naps, so between 10-12 and 4-5 do NOT work for me. The Monsters get home at 3 and then we sit down for homework or just to talk about their day, so 3-4 do NOT work for me. Even with out a “real” job, I’m a busy lady. So are you. Just because you are not putting a price tag on your time doesn’t mean it’s not valuable.
No one likes being accountable. Who runs around saying “Please, criticize me.” ? But it has to be done. Working Moms answer to their boss at work. Even being your own boss you have to be accountable. Which can be especially hard. It’s hard to keep momentum when you’re the one you’re following. But just like in government there have to be checks and balances in place.
What are some things you have learned from other Moms? What do you think Working Moms can learn from SAHMs? Please comment below.